Reading

I really admire people who can walk along reading and not bumping into people. However, I am in total awe of those who do manage to walk into people and things. That must be so difficult to accomplish. 

In recent weeks I have been bumped into by people reading emails/texts, kindles, and newspapers and on one occasion by someone finishing off their sudoku puzzle!  Now that takes concentration as the those puzzles can be really tricky!

I can understand people walking and reading a book/kindle - I've lost count of the number of times that I've got to my stop just as I've got to a good bit or am only a few pages from the end. But emails? Especially when first thing in the morning they're probably work ones. 

I have to confess that I keep this rule only sporadically, mainly when I need to send a text or email before I forget and when I can see its a really good email I've received with a good piece of gossip. I don't tend to carry on reading my book though as I'm worried about what will happen when I get to the top of the escalator or the bottom of the stairs!  I can see myself ending up in casualty at worst or at best having an embarrassing wardrobe moment!

So hats off to all who manage it without accident. Keep bumping into people - one day someone will respond. 

Umbrellas

I love umbrellas on my daily commute. Umbrellas are very useful items when used correctly. Did you think they were just to keep the rain off of you? Well that's what I thought until I started commuting. 

I have learnt that they can be used as a weapon - the golfing umbrella is best for that as it has the big spike on the end to stab unsuspecting passersby with when you are using it as a walking stick (or a swagger stick) but the "City gent" style also works.  I have had many bruises and ruined tights from being stabbed by an umbrella.  And don't forget the ones that nearly take your eye out as people turn around and forget that they are slightly wider due to having an extension over their heads. 

Then there are the brollies that are used to ensure that no-one sits next to you in the train or bus. Of course, the umbrellas used in this instance must be wet to ensure that the seat gets wet so no-one will want to sit on a wet seat. 

My favourite though is the ones that protect you from the air and the phantom rain. You know the ones don't you - they come out when there is just a hint of moisture in the air, although it's not actually raining. 

Share your commuting umbrella stories with me in the comments or on Twitter @MoaningMinx

How to annoy Londoners

A friend shared this link on Facebook earlier this evening. Although it's titled how to annoy Londoners items 3 and 5 are very good examples of rules being kept!

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2015/02/15/five-ways-to-annoy-a-londoner/

Disabled seats

Love how these two people are obeying Rule 4 this morning and not giving up their seats for a guy in a wheelchair.  Hope he's got his brakes securely on or he could be free wheeling up and down the carriage!

Oyster cards, tickets and contactless payment rules

31.  You must never have enough money on your Oyster card. If you ask the driver nicely he/she will wait for you to top up. This applies to buses and trains. 

32.  If you get the the tube barriers and find you have no money on your card you may go to the front of the queue after topping up. All the queuing you did beforehand counts. 

33.  If you are issued with an emergency ticket on the bus you must not take it and must look at the driver as if they are speaking Martian when they try to explain. Remember not to top up afterwards - see Rule 31.

34. Do not have your ticket ready when you get on the bus/get to the barriers. The people behind you are in no rush while you search your bag/pockets and the buses/trains don't have to stick to their timetable!

35. If your Oyster or contactless payment card is rejected you must keep tapping in - it will work eventually even if you have no money!  Similarly your paper ticket will eventually let you through - it's only a monthy out of date so that's acceptable right? 

36.  Remember to keep your Oyster and contactless cards together. The machines are clever and know which one you want to use that day. 

37. At stations you must wait for the barriers to complete close behind the person in front of you before you insert your ticket or tap in/out. They won't work unless you do. 

38. If a ticket inspector gets on. You must take your time finding your ticket - even though you may have had it only 20 seconds ago. 

39. No barriers to go through? Then you don't have to tap out at the little pod thing. The system is clever enough to work out where you got off and charge you the right amount.